Supporting Neurodivergent Clients with SOFT™: Tips, Tools, and Real Stories

Picture this: You’re in a therapy office, and the lights are too bright, the hum of the heater makes your skin crawl, and every question about “how do you feel in your body?” makes you freeze or want to run. Or maybe you’ve spent a lifetime being told you’re “too sensitive,” “overreacting,” “fidgety,” or “disconnected”—by teachers, doctors, partners, even well-meaning therapists.

If you’re neurodivergent—autistic, ADHD, or living with unique sensory wiring—these stories are probably all too familiar. Traditional therapy, especially body-based or trauma-focused therapy, often isn’t built with your experience in mind. You might feel like a puzzle piece forced into the wrong box, expected to speak a language that isn’t your own.

As a sex therapist and founder of SOFT, I created Somatic Oriented Fascia Therapy to bridge this gap. SOFT isn’t just about what’s “wrong” with the body—it’s about honoring every nervous system, every sensory need, and every unique way of being. For neurodivergent folks, this means recognizing that your experiences of shutdown, sensory overload, masking, or even fawning for safety are adaptations, not failures.

In this post, we’ll dive into why so many therapies fall short for neurodivergent people, how SOFT adapts with consent, flexibility, and cultural humility, and share real stories of healing that center body autonomy—not neurotypical standards. If you’re a practitioner, you’ll find practical tools for providing truly inclusive care (without giving away SOFT’s professional protocols). If you’re a client, you’ll see that your body and your needs are welcome, just as they are.

Understanding Neurodivergence and Body Experience

Neurodivergence is a beautifully broad term. It encompasses autistic folks, people with ADHD, sensory processing differences, Tourette’s, learning disabilities, and other brain-based ways of being. In the context of SOFT, neurodivergence is not a problem to fix—it’s a lived experience that shapes how a person moves, senses, relates, and feels in their body.

How Neurodivergence Shapes Embodiment

For many, being neurodivergent means living with a body and brain that process information in ways that defy the “norm.” Let’s break down a few common patterns:

Interoception and Proprioception

• Interoception is the sense of what’s happening inside your body: hunger, heartbeat, fullness, pain, temperature. Many neurodivergent folks (especially autistic or ADHD folks) experience either heightened or blunted interoceptive awareness. You might not know you’re hungry until you’re dizzy, or you might notice every little internal flutter.

• Proprioception is your sense of where your body is in space. For some, this means clumsiness, bumping into things, or struggling with certain movements. For others, it’s being hyper-aware of every twitch or twinge.

Sensory Sensitivities and Sensory Seeking

• Sensory sensitivities are well-known in neurodivergent communities: bright lights, loud sounds, certain textures or fabrics, or even specific smells can be overwhelming, even painful.

• Sensory seeking is just as common: stimming, fidgeting, movement, or craving certain sensations to self-regulate or focus.

Masking, Shutdown, and Overload

• Masking is the practice of hiding or suppressing your natural responses, whether it’s stimming, saying you’re “fine” when you’re not, or forcing eye contact to meet social expectations.

• Shutdown is when the system gets overloaded and simply stops: going blank, freezing, becoming nonverbal, or needing to withdraw.

• Overload is the “red alert”—meltdown, panic, or dissociation when the environment or experience becomes too much.

Challenges in Traditional Therapy

• Pathologizing Neurodivergence: Too many therapies start from the premise that neurotypical embodiment is “normal,” and anything else is a problem. This can reinforce shame and make neurodivergent clients feel even more misunderstood.

• Ignoring Sensory Needs: From waiting rooms that are too loud to therapists who insist on eye contact or touch, the body-based therapy space often overlooks basic accessibility.

• Misreading Signals: What looks like avoidance, numbness, or even “defiance” in a neurodivergent client may actually be sensory overwhelm, shutdown, or self-protection.

In SOFT, we flip the script. Your body isn’t a problem to be solved. It’s a source of wisdom, survival, and possibility.

Trauma, Stigma, and the Neurodivergent Body

For neurodivergent clients, trauma is rarely just about isolated events. It’s about years of microaggressions, misdiagnosis, masking, forced compliance, and medical harm.

The Impact of Stigma and Ableism

• Stigma: Many neurodivergent people are labeled as “difficult,” “noncompliant,” or “too much” from childhood. Over time, this erodes trust in one’s own experience and body.

• Ableism: Systems built for neurotypical bodies often pathologize or exclude neurodivergent folks. Medical trauma is common—being ignored, disbelieved, or forced into treatments that don’t fit.

• Chronic Invalidations: “You’re just being dramatic,” “It’s not that loud,” “You can’t possibly hurt from that.” These everyday messages lead many to stop trusting their own bodies.

Common Trauma Patterns

• Masking and Compliance: Many learn to hide their discomfort or force themselves through pain or distress for the sake of fitting in, surviving school, work, or even therapy itself.

• Shutdown and Fawning: To avoid conflict or punishment, some shut down (becoming unresponsive, “zoning out,” going nonverbal) or fawn (agreeing, pleasing, avoiding boundaries).

• Somatic Memory: The body, especially the fascia, stores these adaptations. Over time, this may show up as chronic pain, fatigue, muscle tension, or a sense of being “trapped” or “absent” in one’s own skin.

How the Fascia Adapts

• Bracing: The body braces against expected pain or sensory overwhelm.

• Numbness: Chronic shutdown creates numbness, either physical or emotional.

• Tension and Overload: Repeated overload can create persistent tension or pain, sometimes with no clear medical explanation.

These are not failures. They are the body’s best attempt at survival in a world that often doesn’t make space for difference.

Why Traditional Somatic and Sex Therapies Often Fall Short

Body-based therapies are powerful, but most were developed for, and tested on, neurotypical people. Here’s where they often miss the mark for neurodivergent clients:

Assumptions About the Nervous System

• Many somatic modalities expect clients to be able to name and feel their internal sensations easily.

• Practices like “just relax,” “scan your body,” or “breathe deeply” can be overwhelming, meaningless, or even distressing to someone with different sensory wiring.

Consent and Pacing

• Some therapies rely on scripts, routines, or fixed touch/movement exercises, without space for real-time adaptation.

• Sessions may not allow enough time for shutdown, processing, or recovery from overload.

Communication Mismatches

• Neurodivergent clients may need alternative ways to communicate (AAC devices, writing, art, or just not speaking at all).

• Traditional talk-based or eye-contact-heavy approaches can be inaccessible or even harmful.

Cultural Humility Is Often Missing

• Practitioners may lack training in neurodiversity-affirming approaches, or may unconsciously reinforce ableist expectations.

• “Progress” is often measured by how “normal” someone can act—not by how safe or embodied they feel.

The SOFT™ Approach: Adapting for Neurodivergence

SOFT was created from the ground up to center trauma-informed, consent-led, and culturally humble care. For neurodivergent clients, this means radical adaptation—not just permission to be yourself, but an active invitation to bring your full body, brain, and sensory needs into the room.

Key SOFT Adaptations

Sensory Accommodations

• Lighting: Sessions can be held in dim, natural, or client-selected light.

• Touch: No touch is ever required. If touch is used, it’s client-directed, and with clear, ongoing consent.

• Sound: Background noise, music, or white noise can be adjusted—or eliminated.

• Clothing and Props: Weighted blankets, pillows, headphones, fidgets, or “stimming” tools are welcome.

Communication Flexibility

• AAC, Text, or Written Communication: Clients can use devices, notes, or visual aids instead of speech.

• Alternative Feedback: Thumbs up/down, color cards, or even agreed-upon “safe words” for breaks.

• Nonverbal Expression: Clients are never forced to speak or make eye contact.

Pacing and Timing

• Session Structure: Sessions can be shorter, longer, or broken into multiple segments. Breaks are not just allowed—they’re encouraged.

• Honoring Shutdown: If a client goes nonverbal, freezes, or needs silence, the practitioner follows their lead.

• Micro-Boundaries: Clients are invited to move, stim, fidget, or reposition at any time.

Practitioner Self-Reflection

• Bias Checking: SOFT practitioners examine their own assumptions about what “progress” or “healing” should look like.

• De-pathologizing: The client’s adaptations—masking, fidgeting, shutdown—are recognized as wisdom, not dysfunction.

• Listening Deeply: Practitioners learn to listen for embodied consent in many forms, not just words.

Building Body Agency

• Sensing at Your Pace: Some clients want to start with noticing external sensations (the chair, the room) before moving into the body.

• Choice Is Central: Every practice is invitational. “Would you like to try…?” is the baseline. “No” or “not yet” are honored instantly.

• Celebrating Difference: Stimming, unusual movements, and sensory seeking are welcomed, not corrected.

SOFT Principles in Action

• Consent is ongoing, not a checkbox: Practitioners check in repeatedly, not just once.

• Your body is the expert: The client’s sensory needs, pace, and communication style lead every session.

• No one is “too much” or “too different”: There is no wrong way to have a body in SOFT.

Real Stories: SOFT in Practice with Neurodivergent Clients

Let’s meet a few (anonymized, composite) clients to see SOFT in action.

Case 1: James—Autistic, Sensory Overload, and Micro-Boundary Moves

James, a 28-year-old autistic adult, came to SOFT after years of struggling with chronic neck and jaw tension. In other therapies, James was told to “relax” and “let go,” but the more they tried, the worse the tension became. Sessions felt overwhelming—bright lights, questions about “how does that feel in your body?” left James frozen.

In SOFT, James’s practitioner dimmed the lights, eliminated background noise, and started with James’s favorite weighted blanket. Instead of pushing for big releases, the practitioner invited James to notice the smallest movement that brought comfort—turning their head a fraction, uncrossing their legs, or squeezing a fidget. Over time, these micro-boundary moves became James’s toolkit for daily regulation. For the first time, James felt safe to say, “That’s enough for today,” and have it celebrated.

Case 2: Adam—ADHD, Shutdown, and Permission to Move

Adam, diagnosed with ADHD and sensory processing disorder, always felt like they were “failing” therapy. Sitting still felt impossible, and when asked to “feel into” their body, Adam would go blank. SOFT’s practitioner encouraged Adam to fidget, stand up, pace, or even do the session while lying on the floor. Instead of starting with “noticing your body,” they started with “What do you notice about the room? What’s the temperature, texture, light like?”

As Adam’s comfort grew, they began to notice more about their internal state—how hunger showed up as restlessness, or how frustration made their hands itch. Instead of being shamed for “bad behavior,” Adam felt empowered to listen to their own needs, which improved not just therapy, but everyday life.

Case 3: Conja—Medical Trauma, AAC, and Self-Advocacy

Conja, a nonspeaking autistic adult, experienced years of medical trauma. She communicated primarily with a tablet and often felt excluded from body-based therapy. In SOFT, Conja’s practitioner invited her to lead the pace, using her device to type one-word responses, or simply indicate “stop” or “go.” Sessions included music, textured objects, and sometimes long periods of silence.

When Conja wanted to pause or stim, her practitioner honored it without question. Over time, Conja learned to identify and express sensations of safety and discomfort, both in and out of session. For the first time, Conja reported feeling “in charge” of her own healing.

Lessons for Practitioners

• Meet clients where they are—don’t force a script or “right way” of being.

• Check your assumptions about progress, presence, and “appropriate” responses.

• Small adaptations make a huge difference: dim lights, silence, permission to move, and truly honoring every no or not yet.

• The most important measure of success? The client feels safe, respected, and in control.

Tools and Tips

Whether you’re neurodivergent, love someone who is, or are a practitioner seeking to be more inclusive, here are a few ways to build body agency—without specific SOFT interventions:

1. Self-Awareness Prompts

• What environments feel best for your body (lighting, sound, temperature)?

• How do you like to move, stim, or rest? What brings comfort or relief?

• Are there clothing, textures, or props (weighted blankets, fidgets) that support regulation?

2. Micro-Boundary Language

• Practice saying, “I’d like to pause,” “That’s enough,” or “Can we try it a different way?”

• Use signals: thumbs up/down, color cards, or a pre-set word or gesture for “stop.”

• Remember: Your boundaries don’t need justification or explanation.

3. Environmental Supports

• Adjust lights, sound, and seating before sessions. Use tools and textures that soothe.

• Bring your own comfort items, headphones, or communication devices as needed.

4. Advocating for Your Needs in Therapy/Bodywork

• Let practitioners know your sensory and communication needs up front.

• Ask for breaks, movement, or silence whenever needed.

• If a practice feels wrong, confusing, or overwhelming, you have the right to stop at any time.

5. When to Seek SOFT-Certified Support

• If you’re working with trauma, pain, or chronic shutdown that hasn’t shifted with other therapies, a SOFT-certified practitioner can provide the nuanced, consent-centered care you deserve.

• Don’t DIY deep fascia work—especially with a trauma history. Seek professionals who understand and welcome neurodivergence.

6. Further Learning

• Follow neurodiversity-affirming organizations, blogs, and podcasts (e.g., NeuroClastic, Autistic Self Advocacy Network, “1800 Seconds on Autism” podcast, our own Untamed Ember podcast).

• Read books like Unmasking Autism by Devon Price or Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg for perspective. Or find Dr. Misty’s book, Unmasked Sexuality: A Revolutionary Guide to Neurodivergent Sexual Liberation

Frequently Asked Questions

Is fascia work safe for people with sensory sensitivities?
With the right practitioner, yes. SOFT is designed to be paced, adapted, and always consent-centered. Sensory needs are accommodated—not minimized.

What if I can’t tell what my body is feeling?
That’s normal, especially after years of masking or overload. In SOFT, even noticing “I don’t know” is valid. Practitioners can help you build awareness gently, without pressure.

How can I tell if a practitioner is neurodiversity-affirming?
Look for therapists who ask about your needs, adapt the environment, and celebrate—not pathologize—your differences. Ask if they’ve received training in neurodiversity or trauma-informed care.

What if I need to stim or fidget in session?
Stimming, fidgeting, and moving are welcome in SOFT. They are respected as self-regulation, not a distraction or problem.

Resources and Next Steps

SOFT Practitioner Directory: somaticorientedfasciatherapy.com

• Inclusive Trainings: Our certification program includes neurodiversity-affirming modules for practitioners.

• Recommended Reading: Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, Neurotribes by Steve Silberman, Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg, Unmasked Sexuality: A Revolutionary Guide to Neurodivergent Sexual Liberation by Dr. Misty Gibson.

• Podcasts: “1800 Seconds on Autism,” “Autistic Voices,” Untamed Ember Podcast (body-based healing for all bodies).

• Community Support: Seek out peer groups (online and local), neurodiversity-affirming social spaces, and professional allies.

Share your story, ask questions, or connect for support. You are not alone.

Neurodivergent bodies and minds deserve healing that is accessible, affirming, and truly inclusive. SOFT was created with your experience at the center, not as an afterthought. You are not “too much” or “not enough.” Your sensory needs, stims, shutdowns, and survival adaptations are valid—and worthy of respect.

Whether you’re seeking your first trauma-informed session, advocating for yourself in a new space, or simply looking to feel a little safer in your own skin, remember: your body is wise. Healing is possible on your terms.

Practitioners, your willingness to adapt, listen, and de-pathologize makes all the difference. Clients, your boundaries and needs matter, even if they’re different from the “norm.” SOFT is here for you.

Let’s build a world where every body—and every brain—is welcome in the healing space.

Copyright © Dr. Misty Gibson 2025. All rights reserved. For more on SOFT, trauma-informed fascia therapy, and neurodivergent-affirming practice, visit somaticorientedfasciatherapy.com.